Essence of theNEET

This fizzy Essence tastes of stale soda pop and laziness.

• Your body returns to a state of full health and reasonable physical condition if it wasn't already, and will from that point on maintain itself like you were practicing clean and healthy living and regular exercise - even if you aren't.

• You gain a comfortable one-person condo (with guest room) in a reasonably safe and pleasant neighborhood that cleans and organizes itself whenever you remember to freshen up.

• You may conjure reasonable quantities of any type of food or drink that you have ever previously consumed at will. It will be of optimum quality and prepared and seasoned exactly the way you like it. It will always provide optimal nutrition regardless of how much or how little of it you eat. Supernatural foods or drinks will keep their full flavor but not have any supernatural powers.

• Your new NEET cave will include a genuinely comfy computer desk and chair that you can spend all day in with no circulation problem or aches or anything else, as well as a desktop tower gaming rig with all desired peripherals. This computer will have basically unlimited SSD hard drive space and RAM, an omni-core CPU with essentially unlimited capacity, a graphics card with similar 'YES' capacity, an operating system and drivers that are magically omni-compatible with any other software or device you might want to install or plug in, and an unlimited bandwidth Wi-Fi connection that connects to no ISP in particular but lets you have unrestricted Internet service anyway. All of this computer hardware and OS will be immune to any malware, hacking, or unwanted tracing, will never suffer hardware fault or data loss, and will immediately repair itself from any damage.

• You will receive a full-featured widescreen TV and gaming consoles of the highest quality in your living room as well, along with similar unlimited magic Wi-Fi connections to their respective game networks.

• You will receive a magic bookshelf that can conjure a copy of any entertainment media that was ever published and available for commercial sale or free use. This includes fanfiction. Electronic copies of these works in any desired format (epub, Kindle, etc.) may similarily be materialized here on USB sticks or other appropriate portable data storage.

• You will gain access to a trust fund that will provide you with an annual income appropriate to an upper-middle-class household, annually adjusted for inflation, with all paperwork taken care of and backdated perfectly and all appropriate taxes and fees paid.

• A limited perception filter will keep anyone from noticing anything odd about any of this, even the supernatural features, without you wanting them to.