Essence ofPosadism (Esoteric Socialism)

Drinking this green, grape-flavored Essence gives you the following abilities:

• You get your own esoteric organization equivalent to GRU Division "P". All members are completely loyal to you and will obey your every command. This comes with the money, buildings, weapons, and resources required for the normal functioning of such an organization.

• You gain magical and occult knowledge acquired by communists. Some examples of knowledge you can acquire are the ability to create human-chimpanzee hybrids, flying tanks and ships, reviving the dead, and other things belonging to Soviet Superscience.

• At will, you can gain the ability to alter any reality to suit your political beliefs. You maybe make Lysenkoism a reality.

• You gain biological immortality, you don't age or die from disease, although you can be killed.

• You will gain a photographic memory that allows you to recall and relive everything as if it had happened moments before.

• You will gain the ability to talk and communicate with dolphins and other animals.

• You gain enough persuasion skills that you are able to convince lower spirits such as jinn, spirits, angels and demons to rebel against their masters.

• You will gain the ability to survive a Nuclear War and other events of mutual assured destruction relatively unscathed.

• You get the equipment needed to summon and communicate with advanced socialist alien civilizations. These extraterrestrial civilizations are advanced and benevolent and will help you if you ask them.