Essence of theNon-Gay-Gay-Friend

By drinking this Essence that tastes like vanilla and triggers the impostor sound in your mind for an instant, you'll be able to effortlessly blend in with the ladies, as the best "gay" friend.

• You get a major boost to your appearance and your physique. You'll have a perfect jawline, perfect muscle tone and a care routine that will keep you looking flawless.

• You will have maximum favorability with women. They will immediately see you as the most confident and reliable person they know. Expect to be constantly invited to girls nights, lunches, shopping and spa days. Nothing is off limits to what they will discuss with you, they will talk about their lives with you as if they were talking in the safety of their minds, there is no topic they are not willing to discuss with you.

• You'll have the uncanny ability to know exactly what women want to hear. Compliment her shoes? Yes. Sympathize with her messed up date? No problem. Pretend to watch The Bachelor? You haven't missed a single episode. Her boyfriend dumped her? Clearly it wasn't her fault.

• You really know how to listen to people. Well, it would be better to say that you have the ability to turn your brain off when you hear someone talking about things that don't interest you. Your brain will start playing something interesting that you have seen in the past to entertain you. Suspiciously, the entertainment will end just as the other person finishes talking. Don't worry, you will also receive a summary of what they said with the most important or sensitive points, and your unconscious will have answered for you coherently.

• Forget awkward arm-around-the-shoulder moments. You are now totally immune to the rules of personal space. You can spontaneously hug them, hold their hand or hang out together on a couch while caressing their bodies almost indecently, and you'll get nothing but good responses/reactions. After all, they love the "security" they feel around you.

• You're the right person to help them navigate their love life, which puts you in a convenient position to subtly sabotage any other guys who come on the scene. Any "friendly" advice you give them will be taken seriously and will take precedence.

• No woman will ever question your sexuality. Not even if you go a little overboard with the touching in yoga class, or do something more extreme like sleeping with a woman. You have the "gay card" activated at all times, which means you can get away with any "heterosexual" activity without any suspicion, a simple excuse will do the job.

• For your colleagues, you have made the ultimate sacrifice, they will see you as a figure of reverence, and they will never expose your act to anyone, as long as you don't mess with their girls, of-course. While those who are not your colleagues will not suspect you of anything even if you are overly "friendly" with his girl. At most, they'll be a uncomfortable, but not to the point where it would be a problem.

• You now possess the art of giving the right compliments at the right time.

• Optionally, if you ever really want to end your act, you can reveal your true nature to your female "friends". You won't become the enemy of women, but you'll probably leave them confused. It's not all bad news. They won't expose your nature even if you keep faking it with other people; and if you played the long game, they might like the real you a lot more.