Essence of thePet Rock

By drinking this Essence in the shape of a pebble, you gain the mightiest power of all: Friendship.

• You gain a pet rock.

• It's a cool looking rock, small enough to fit in your hands, with googly eyes.

• It's completely invulnerable to anything and everything you will ever encounter, nothing can ever harm your bosom buddy.

• Just being in the presence of your Pet Rock will bring you comfort, and help you work through any troubles you encounter, allowing you you resist the trials and tribulations you encounter on your journeys.

• Any actions you take in the presence of your Pet Rock will be more effective, twice as effective at least, benefiting from your companion's pure love and support.

• No matter what actions you take, what depths you rise or sink to, your companion will always be there to support you, they're ride or die with you, forever.

• If you are ever put under mind control, suffer a telepathic invasion, have your reality or timelines themselves rewritten, your eternal friend will be there to help. They'll launch a fearsome, unstoppable assault on the perpetrator, that to an uneducated eye, appears to simply be a rock thrown at their face. Their wholesome presence will bring you peace of mind and remind you who you are, and that your best friend stands by your side.

• Optionally, you become a friend to all Rocks and Rock-like beings, considering you a friend until you act against them.

• However, this appeal will always pale in comparison to your Pet Rock, who is the Rock-world's equivalent to a Rockstar, with popularity through the roof.