Essence of theCursed Karen

This Essence comes in a Starbucks coffee-cup with a plastic lid that is breaking, and a taped-on bill of completely reasonable amount (for a king's ransom) as well as your name spelled incorrectly. It tastes burnt and sour, with a hint of sweetness trying to mask the colossal failure of the barista, and a feeling like you are still expected to tip 20 per cent on top of the exorbitantly high price for the coffee that's barely tolerable. No actual payment is required, but the momentary annoyance, frustration, and anger at this insult to good coffee is part of the activation process of this essence, and suddenly makes you feel sympathy for any 'coffee Karens' who's bad treatment got cut out of any complaint videos that followed.

• You gain peak human physique, but will suffer a curse of always looking worn down, tired, exhausted, irritated, and cranky, and gain a resting bitch face if you do not already possess one. You gain a near super-human boost to your physical capabilities, and the volume of your voice, when suitably irritated.

• You gain an intimidation aura that can make weak-willed people back off, and a glare from you could literally inflict headaches in other, sufficient that if used too much might start rumors you are a witch with an evil eye. You can tone both of these effects down, but the more frustrated and angry you are, the more likely they are to pop up at full force when your patience snaps.

• You gain a terrifying boost to your confidence and capability of listing out obscure but yet relevant facts that can shake the confidence of others you are arguing against, and upon raising your voice you can inflict a mild curse of stammering and fear upon others. Alternatively, you can speak in a cold, even tone that leaves people feeling a chill down their spine as if being fondled by death in anticipation of your soon passing from the mortal coil. Existential dread will inflict stress damage to those witnessing it, and may trigger a panic attack or a heart-attack at your target if pressed.

• You gain the ability to demand to speak to a manager that forces even those reluctant to deal with general public to confront you and your complaints, and give them a reasonable chance, but every fact you try and twist or lie about will come back to hit you like karma, every piece of truth you wield like a blade will find itself supported by evidence that will damn whoever you complain about. Use it truthfully for the good, and you can crush arrogant bastards. Use it for evil, and expect to spend many a long lonely nights in county jail.

• Hell Won't Take Its Own - You prove frustratingly difficult to kill, almost as if Devil is desperately trying to give you 'good fortune' and 'miracle healings' behind the scenes, because having seen what you can do in life, Devil doesn't want to hear your shrill voice in Hell demanding to speak to the manager. He's genuinely afraid he'd end up retiring when faced with the icy barb of your tongue and those hate-filled eyes of yours.

• Optionally, your coffee will always be the most lousy, horrifying, disgusting mess, and a guaranteed trigger to bring your rage levels to maximum in an instant. You can selectively toggle this to only affect some cups of coffee you get, but the rage-inducing coffee must still be relatively fresh, drinking already stale coffee without knowing it is likely to already be stale will only give you half the normal amount of rage it otherwise would. Of course, if its stale because someone failed to do their job and refill the pot, then your rage level get upgraded to maximum for free.

• You have a life-time membership to any Omni-versal Starbucks locations, free drinks, and VIP treatment, solely to make sure you won't start yelling at their store again.